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this abundant journey

In life, there is abundance in everything if we are open to see and receive it. This is my abundant journey raising two "healthy" children and a son with cerebral palsy. This is what my son is here to teach… acceptance and the true importance of life.

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Her time with me was a clap of thunder in the sky of my destiny. . Here she stands a woman, and I am breathless.
Tarot collectors, if you weren’t aware of the Dust II Onxy Tarot release, or missed the opportunity to purchase the first edition, here’s a peek. ___ The LOVE that was put into this project is overwhelming. The deck is stunning. The clamshell box. The cardstock. The gilding. The hardback vade mecum. The invocation. Courtney, the deck creatrix, LITERALLY outdid herself. ___ People of color are so majorly underrepresented in Tarot, I hope that the beauty, the quality, and the success of this deck sends a clear message.
It’s goin’ down.
A year ago my life shifted in the most unexpectedly necessary way. I had to take time, a tremendous amount of time, to go within and reflect on it all. And now a year later after doing the work, and reflecting and understanding, I’m blessed and overwhelmed by the shower of synchronicities that have affirmed and confirmed that I’m exactly where I am supposed to be. ___ Now standing on the other side, I’m humbled by the beauty of the destiny of it all. The timing of the planting of those seeds of change a year ago and now of their harvest during this season. The harvest of my independence. Of a new future for myself, a fate that I felt in my soul and insisted on bringing into being. Of newfound overflowing peace. Pride in the magnitude of my self reliance. And my ability to use myself as a living example for my babies to see that sometimes the most unexpected change is for your greatest good, don’t fear. Of joy. New friendships. New, but not at all new, reunions with soul family, the ones that you meet and your heart remembers at first glance. So much love. And it’s just beginning. ___ The cosmos called me in a direction that I hadn’t planned for and I’m so grateful that I chose to bend. Just like water has been my mantra through the changes and the tears.
Just finished bathing my baby, who's actually turning into quite the little man. Sometimes I wonder if calling him my baby will always resonate with me. He'll always be my baby, but the accuracy of the word sends my mind into deep solitary philosophical conversations. "It'll always be appropriate because he is forever my baby, yet I want to honor him and his stages", and so on. It's an incredible feat bathing all of his 65 pounds. Today instead of rushing out and rushing on to the next thing, like I so often do, I'm taking a minute to just be and come back to me. Not long ago, I set out to finally find the deepest parts of me where I buried them years ago underneath layers of heartache and apology. To ask their forgiveness and thank them for waiting patiently until I was ready. So, in case you've forgotten, like I too often did, a little affirmation for us all... _____ Woman you are divinity in motion. With each breath you manifest. Hands that mold, shape, guide. Womb, a portal continuously creating, manifesting. Mind swelling with dreams in wait. Intuition stirring, signaling the way. Take time, pause, and remind yourself of your greatness. _____ I wake. I mend. I soothe. I massage. I comfort. I protect. I change. I clean. I measure. I calculate. I study. I document. I concoct. I assess. I envision. I collaborate. I arrange. I schedule. I record. I coordinate. I instruct. I transport. I attend. I prepare. I serve. I listen. I counsel. I love. I write. I breathe. I smile. I laugh. I stretch. I ponder. I release. I bathe. I sleep.
My notifications buzzed, a text. Pictures from my daughter. She's been spending the summer finding her voice behind a camera's lens. I love to see her thoughts. As I scrolled and smiled there was my niece, my first baby. They're at the beach. I paused and grinned as my heart swooned at the beauty that is she. And I thought... I have lived through so. many. of her moments. Her stages. Her periods. Her right nows. Like the one where she refused to eat anything but soft boiled eggs, feeding her was joyous during that time. And when she couldn't say her t's, so every truck that we passed she would say "look tia, a fuck", she didn't even notice my laughter. ___ And at that moment, what I was seeing... I just hope that she can see that. I know that I, as a Black woman, went through this period where it felt like maybe the universe had gotten it wrong. There was a time when "You're pretty for a black girl" was actually a compliment that I would accept. I hadn't quite figured out what to do with all of the... difference that I'd been given, it takes a while for many brown girls to realize the uniqueness that is your presentation to the world is actually a stunningly beautiful gift, an expression of the divine herself. In fact, you feel like you should probably hide it. Smother it. Suppress it. Smooth its corners. Soften it. Turn the saturation down on its brilliance. and the messages from the world reinforce that. Until one glorious morning, you awaken. You look at the thickness of your lips, the shade of your brown, the kink of your hair and a smile starts to form at the corners of that enviable pout as you nod your head to the universe, your mother, and your father in thanks for the creation that you see before you. I hope that she has experienced that day. ___ You are the divine experiencing itself in one of numberless forms. You are quite literally God's imagination. Whatever you want is yours and everything that you are is perfection.
She's watched over me since my mind can recall, and now she hangs on my walls watching over my babies. On quiet days I light sacred copal, share space with her, and search those piercing eyes for her truths and wisdom. Thank you queen.
It's started. ___ #beachbums #beachchillin #beachinit #laplaya #calilivin #californialove #westcoast #myson #mycub #mylegacy #thatsmybaby #momlife #mamatribe #blacklove #afrolatino #blackboyjoy #blackjoy #blackboyfly
I can't believe that this endangered little oak baby is happily blowing in the breeze in my yard. I searched high and low for nearly a year for this beautiful little twig. I finally found one at a native nursery, immediately ordered it, and put it straight in the ground when it arrived. Annnnddddd drove around town obsessively until I found an oak tree that I could salvage fallen leaves from to make it happy in its new home. ___ These oak trees are native to my area and cover my favorite hiking spot. When I found out that they are endangered, I had to do my part and plant one. I can't wait gather the acorns she gives, so they can be germinated to help protect these gorgeous trees. ___ #crazyplantlady #plantbabies #engelmannoak #urbanecology #growfoodnotlawns #nativeplants #californianativeplant #california #canativeplants #coastalsagescrub #droughttolerant #landscapedesign #sustainabledesign #gardening #organicgardening #oaktrees #ilovetrees #treelovers #treeporn #treestagram #laspilitasnursery

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  • Jennifer
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My Rearranged Life

This WordPress.com site is the bee's knees

WeekendSprout's Mini Garden

Locally Grown, Right from My Backyard in the City

Serialadopter

Free As Trees

the life and times of a transplant Torontonian, raising a son with cerebral palsy and a young daughter.

my (dis)abled life

a mile in my wheelchair

Tales of a Tigerlilly

A mum and her girl

Mama C and the Boys

A 20th Century Family by Design

wawoo

the extraordinary life of an unusual soul.

Jennifer's story

arteriovenous malformation, hydrocephalus, cerebral palsy, blind, epilepsy and a great big heart!

heartcrossedpaths

Just another WordPress.com site

Seize the YAY!

PsychMamma

No delusions of grandeur. Plenty of anergia.

a Rearranged Life

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